we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Randomize
