she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize