Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
that's an acceptable place to lick
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize