who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
