oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
