They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
