Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
