You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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