whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Drake has all the answers
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
