just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
