In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
