I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize