Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
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