They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
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...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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