So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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