And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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