are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Randomize
