waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
