Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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