I am puke
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Randomize
