please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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