I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Randomize
