do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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