I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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