I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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