I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
