Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Randomize
