I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
