don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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