Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
