Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
