thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
