I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize