1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
