we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
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