Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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