Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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