AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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