Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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