just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
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Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
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I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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