And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
