this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
