Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(917): View more from New York City

omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter

(310): View more from California

Whats your twitter name

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(304): View more from West Virginia

My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick

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(831): View more from California

I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE

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(256): View more from Alabama

Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?

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(513): View more from Ohio

I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.

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(214): View more from Texas

There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.

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(314): View more from Missouri

She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP

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