glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
