i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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