Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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