never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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