brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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