his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
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