I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
