I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
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