You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
