i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
