It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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