sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
