Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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