he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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