all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
