It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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