He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
