Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
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