Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Randomize