i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
