I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
