1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
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