The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
